Full Time Poker Player Isn't for Everyone..

Greetings! (Who even says this so weird)

I’m writing this from a cafe at the Hollywood Hardrock.. I was walking to the tourney room about the register in the last tourney of this series, the $5K - 8 max. The “get me unstuck” tournament where everyone who’s busted the $3500 main and $25K play.. to hopefully win and crawl out of the hole. I am currently in that hole as well despite running deep into day 3 of the main event because tourneys are silly and even though I finished 64th out of 2200 entrants, top 3% from my math.. I don’t even get 5x my money.

Anyways I feel compelled to write out my thoughts here instead of regging right now and play.. I started reflecting on my last 3 years playing poker.. and specifically my last 12 months as a real “grinder” in the tourney streets and more specifically about my happiness levels doing this poker thing. Traveling the all the major stops to play tourneys, going through all the ups and downs through this high variance game. The crazy wins and ridiculous downswings that all pros go through.. and I don’t think it’s meant for me. If you’re not a poker pro, you don’t see how crazy the swings and variance is. It’s funny from the outsider perspective, the people who watch my YT videos think I’m crushing poker, I’m running super hot, etc.. but the reality of tourney poker is rough. I’m -$200,000 this year in tourneys.. I can’t even win this $5K buy in I’m about to play to break even.. it’s absurd. Granted a large chunk of this $200,000 are a handful of $25K bullets that have come and gone down back to the poker community, but from an ROI standpoint.. you have to be a little insane to play tourneys and be okay with the massive swings.

But outside the monetary factor and incredible amount of capital required to squeeze out a small bit of profit in the poker world, it’s more about the fulfillment and happiness levels personally. I handle losses incredibly worse than most people and tilt off a lot.. quite a detriment on my mental health when you’re expected to not cash 85%+ of the time and not allowed to win a tournament 99% of the time. I’ve been contemplating this path I chose for quite some time now and I’ve always backed up this “tourney grinder” decision because it fueled my competitive itch. To compete in an arena vs the best in the world day in and day out is what makes this game so exciting to me. But competition can’t be the only thing being fuels as all the other emotions and parts of life are neglected.

Today, I spoke with a good friend/buddy Tom Wheaton.. owns Faded Spade, Above the Felt, an overall savvy and smart businessman.. who also enjoys grinding poker. With all his time spent on business and family time, he rarely gets to play. But hearing him speak about his 5/10 game last week and how happy he was playing was such a breath of fresh air. I don’t remember the last time I felt this way about a session, pure joy and happiness about sitting at a table and it’s a sad truth to admit. Maybe poker isn’t meant to be grinned for hours on end for a win rate, isn’t this game supposed to be for fun, and if I’m not having that “fun” anymore, then what?

I guess this a longwinded journal entry to say I’m drawing inspiration from Tom to find some more balance in my life and maybe the full time poker grind isn’t more me, I’ve clocked infinite hours both online and live the past 12 months and anyone who knows me personally knows it’s constant.. at dinners, playing video games, etc. Maybe I focus on business/content more opposed to devoting every waking hour of my life eating, breathing, thinking about poker. I’m working on a new content project and it’s been quite refreshing to gameplan/strategize about. I’ve already been gameplanning on not grinding a full WSOP schedule.. I’ve watched myself transition into a full time poker player and now it’s time to transition out of it. I’m grateful for the experience I’ve had, but maybe my time can be better spent elsewhere that’s more fulfilling. Or maybe in 2 months I’m balls deep again firing every single WSOP tournament possible lol and this reflection was for nothing.

Regardless, I’m rambling and I appreciate everyone who cares to listen to my thoughts here. (Tbh not sure why you do but happy to discuss these thoughts with any of y’all that care on twitter on something) Never going to leave the poker space but definitely need some tuning from grinding 24/7 to maybe.. 5/3? Maybe we start with 20/6 and make gradual steps to a more balanced lifestyle.

Best,

Ethan (Rampage)